July 2012


Like magic

It all disappears.

Heart buoyant

Mind clear

Appetite tended.

This is the summer

of your father visiting after 13 years.

We eat frozen bananas…… our skin

getting darker by the day.

This is the season after

divorce

you in the studio throwing clay

I learn circus arts

Our hearts repaired

in a studio aprartment in the “student ghetto”.

Stronger together

I find voice, go back to school,

and feel safe for the first time.

We feel safe for the first time.

There is talk of a “toxic world” outside.

We ride our bikes with dragonflies and humming birds,

go to more yoga classes than we can count,

and open all our windows and doors

to the abundance, planes flying overhead,

one flower growing in the garden, and

………………….

……….

……

..

.

more .

Seems to me this pain that lies within my ribs

has become a habit.

You….

a drug

I

always wanting more…..shaking

slowly……

become

more and more insecure.

Still

some idea of wound into my veins

and a belief in

the image that won’t crumble…..

yet proves beguiling.

If I could plunge my hand

into my chest and remove this discomfort I would.

I’m powerless

left to accept who I am,

“let go” of who I ought to be,

and chill the fuck out.

Don’t close down.

Break another chair.

Eat melon, spit out the seeds

and vibrate my way into

boldness of heart

and relief……

through matter.